


pulling the ol' wool over their eyes

by tisapear



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Clan politics suck even when you're (almost) the last one of yours, Established Relationship, F/F, Genderbending, Post-Canon, Rule 63, They still have both arms because fuck you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:28:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22949332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tisapear/pseuds/tisapear
Summary: Naruko frees her hands from their confines under her legs and makes an awkward hand gesture. "Yeah, uh, so, funny story, but I can't actually get pregnant. Kurama's preventing, the, uhm, egg from being fertilized."Satsuki doesn't even let them answer before she drops the next bomb, "Neither can I. I'm infertile. It was one of Orochimaru's... terms." She sends them a smile, cutting at the edges.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Satsuki/Uzumaki Naruko
Comments: 8
Kudos: 89





	pulling the ol' wool over their eyes

Satsuki poses a striking image. 

Then again, Satsuki _always_ poses a striking image, in Naruko's totally objective and not-at-all biased opinion. (Shut up, Kurama, she's not _mooning_ or _ridiculously smitten_ , you're a millennium old chakra demon, what would you know about these things, huh?) 

She's doning a pretty kimono, all baby blue silk and pretty, white embroidery and coy, pink flowery patterns, gold obi snuggly fit around her middle, and she's even straightened out her rat nest hair, now gently pressing past slim shoulders instead of just ferinely touching them, and honestly—she looks like an actual _girl_ , probably for the first time since she was a button-nosed, twinkle-eyed kid.

Not that Naruko doesn't think Satsuki is always beautiful and gorgeous, 24/7, 365 days a year, but with the wild hair and the wide tops and the pretty pretty pretty but narrow face, she's usually a strikingly androgynous figure that causes basically.... _everyone_ to question their sexuality. 

(Naruko included, but, to be fair, in her case it's less Satsuki's looks and more the whole able-to-royally-kick-her-ass-without-breaking-into-a-sweat thing that attracts her to the—quite literally—breathtaking girl. 

The good looks definitely don't hurt, though.) 

Naruko herself wouldn't be forced into a kimono if they threatened her with the existence of ramen itself. (If they threatened _Satsuki's_ existence, on the other hand........ but then there wouldn't even _be_ anyone _to_ force her into a kimono because she'd get rid of them before they could ever even consider making good on their threat. And no, Kurama, that does _not_ make her a lovestruck fool, thank you very much.)

So she's dressed in regular black pants and a top, but at least she left her hair open, deciding to forsake the pigtails just this once so her blonde her fans out all over her back, down to her hipbones. (She could really use a haircut sometime.) 

Satsuki looks at her, one eyebrow raised, and to anyone else she might look indifferent, but Naruko _knows_ she's scrutinizing her, sees it in the gentle up-and-down flicker of coal-like eyes. She squirms, slightly uncomfortable, slightly nervous (maybe a tiny bit aroused, but to be fair, Satsuki looks _really_ really good in formal clothing). 

When Satsuki lets out a soft hum of appreciation, apparently satisfied with Naruko's looks, her shoulders relax instantly. At Satsuki's amused look, the heat crawls up her cheeks, painting them a sweet cherry red. Satsuki mouths something at her, pink lips moving slowly so Naruko will actually catch it– _gorgeous_ — and—oh, wow, she's actually _totally_ smitten, isn't she? Kurama's right. She's over the fucking moon and considering the silly grin stretched all over her face, she doesn't even mind. 

Well, maybe a little, because hourly love declerations aside, there's a difference between being a couple in love and being That couple in love. But Naruko's nothing if not persistent, and considering how fast they got from punched through five walls—oops, forgot about the fangirl attacks and the thus resulting defensive reaction—to silent acceptance whenever Naruko tries to steal a quick kiss without a five hours announcement prior, they're making decent progress. So, Naruko counts her chances and ignores the result because she'd do it either way anyway.

"Just—not a word, okay?" Naruko mutters eventually, turning away as to not see Satsuki's expression that must surely be even more amused at her obvious embarrassment. 

Satsuki's quiet chuckles follow her all the way into the house, but Naruko doesn't have the heart to be mad; she'd never begrudge Satsuki a source of joy... even if that source is Naruko's suffering.

* * *

She hates this. Like, absolutely hates this. Would rather face Kaguya again than sit here and have to endure this, hates this. 

The air is stiff and stuffy because of the pipe smoke from one of the old geezers. She'd send him a glare if she wasn't so sure that Satsuki would _gently_ remind her of their position and that glaring people down will, for once, not work the way Naruko is used to. 

Satsuki, runaway at 13 and not exactly the brightest, considering she willingly went straight into the arms of some creepy dude who doesn't shy away from human experimentation, is still way better at this game of politics than Naruko will ever be. 

She's the punch first, ask questions later type, and she isn't exactly keen on changing that anytime soon.

Everything considered, one of the better things coming out of this whole 'giving the hokage hat up' thing is definitely the benefit of not having to endure all that many of these kinds of meetings. She'll gladly leave that to Shikamaru, or Sakura, or anyone else who actually has the patience and braincells for such matters. 

"So what you're telling us," an old lady croaks out, probably one of the oldest in the room, what with her tiny stature, crooked back and the wrinkles practically overtaking her face, "is that.... the Uzumaki and Uchiha clan will bear no heirs."

Satsuki doesn't nod, simply cocks her head (almost mockingly—wait, no, it's Satsuki, so _definitely_ mockingly) and side-eyes Naruko, who starts to squirm uncomfortably again, but this time not because of Satsuki's eyes on her but because of the dozen or so in front of her, looking at her like she's the bug they just got to squish under their shoes.

(What a delightful group of senior citizens they are.)

"Well, there's still my— cousin. Karin. Uzumaki Karin. She was—apparently she was my mother's cousin's daughter, so." She shrugs for a lack of better words, her fingers restlessly twisting and turning where she put them under her folded legs. "She might decide to get k— uh, offspring. Eventually." She shrugs again and decidedly does not look at anyone's face.

There's silence, for a while. Then an old man with his wrists tightly wrapped and the beediest little eyes Naruko's ever seen speaks up, from the far right of the council table. "She's not affiliated to Konoha, is she?"

"No." It's the truth. Karin—same as Suigetsu and Jūgo—was offered citizenship after the war, but declined because she simply values the freedom her nomad lifestyle provides her with over signing her life over to a village that would "happily screw us twice over for a used teabag," to quote Suigetsu. 

(Naruko doesn't like to remember that whole ordeal. The anxiety that Satsuki would rather stay with her new team— _without Naruko_ —than go back to the village that pretty much ruined her entire life.... it was her right, to refuse Naruto's plea, to choose what was best for herself, and no matter how much Naruko would hate it, she simply couldn't continue pursuing Satsuki if staying away was truly what she wanted. She simply didn't have the _right_ to demand Satsuki put Naruko's happiness over her own. That realization had suffocated her.)

There's thoughtful noises of acknowledgment coursing through the rounds of elders. Naruko starts to shuffle slightly on the seating, needs to move, needs to _do_ something or her legs will fall asleep, but Satsuki throws her a look of reprimand and she immediately goes still, awkwardly, spine ramrod stiff and fingers almost hurting with how hard she's squeezing them under her thighs.

The first man she noticed upon walking in, the stupid one with the pipe, is the one to speak up this time. "You are aware that, as loyal shinobi under the order of the leaf," at this, everyone's gazes wander to a blankfaced Satsuki, and Naruko has to bite her tongue bloody as to not scream at them, because how dare they, how _dare_ they— "you are under obligation to abide by clan laws, which indicate that securing the safe bearing of an heir is of utmost importance."

_There it is._

The thing everyone warned her about. The thing Satsuki warned her about, that Tsunade warned her about, that even civilian born—thus free of any and all clan duties—Sakura had warned her about.

Naruko inhales through her nose, slowly, then exhales again. 

This is for them. For them, for her, but especially for Satsuki. Because clan laws aside, Naruko's the Kyūbi Jinchūriki—the only thing she'd need to do is set off the fear of a repitition of the Kyūbi incident 18 years ago and the council would scuttle away like the scared little rats that they are.

Satsuki, though. 

Satsuki, traitor that she might have been branded as, is still an Uchiha, the last one alive at that, and no matter how much grief she might have brought the village—heck, at one point the Raikage himself threatened war because of her actions—the council is still all too happy to get their greedy little hands on the sharingan once more. 

("It's a curse," Satsuki said, biting her pretty pink lips raw, eyes tightly closed as if to prove a point, "a curse I have no intention of continuing.") 

And, well. There's nothing Naruko wouldn't do for Satsuki, be it giving her the last cup of instant ramen or tearing the world apart in its foundation. 

(Notwithstanding that Naruko would probably, most likely, pummel everyone into a bloody pulp who so much as _thinks_ about impregnating _her_ Satsuki. She's not—she's not a possessive vixen, Kurama, shut up!) 

Naruko frees her hands from their confines under her legs and makes an awkward hand gesture. "Yeah, uh, so, funny story, but I can't actually get pregnant. Kurama's preventing, the, uhm, egg from being fertilized." She says it with all the blunt bravado anyone that's ever had the 'pleasure' of encountering her had to experience, and she only flushes a tiny bit. The words Sakura drilled into her had are _embarrassing_ , but it's what the council needs to hear, so she deals with it. 

Satsuki doesn't even let them answer before she drops the next bomb, "Neither can I. I'm infertile. It was one of Orochimaru's... terms." She sends them a smile, cutting at the edges. Just informing them of a simple fact, but also a reminder of her capabilities—of just how far she's willing to go, in her quests for success. 

Her hands are neatly folded in her lap, drowning in the long sleeves of her kimono. Out of sight, out of mind, and with her sitting there all obedient and lady-like, one might actually be foolish enough to believe her hands delicate—tender things made for tea ceremonies and flower arrangements, a housewife's caring hands, fancy dinner meals and bruised children knees. 

Personally, Naruko knows the pads of Satsuki's fingers are full of callouses, from wielding a sword, from using kunai and shuriken and her fists as a last resort, and even literally digging fingers into deep brown earth, because sometimes that's the only way to stay grounded, and she thinks of how good those pale fingers feel exploring every inch of Naruko's body. 

She bites her lip and feveredly tries to blend Kurama's roaring laughter out. 

The council, for their part, looks outraged. Naruko has to avert her face for a moment so they won't see the laughter clawing at her teeth. 

Serves the old bastards right, for trying to make them baby popping machines.

* * *

They want an examination by a cynecologist of their choosing. Just 'to make sure there really is nothing to be done about the matter.' 

Yeah, sure. Whatever, it's not like they care much. They're literally the two strongest shinobi in all of the nations, the nine tailed beasts and the two best medic nins to date at their backs. 

Naruko, quite frankly, wants to see them _try_ , forcing them to bear children they have no want for. 

(And try they will, and however bold faced Naruko and Satsuki's lies were—tailed beasts with endless chakra resources. The two best medic ninjas in the history of shinobi kind. They literally punched a goddess through several dimensions, convincing some ready-to-drop-dead-at-a-moments-notice grandmas and grandpas of their supposed infertility is nothing compared to that.) 

There is one thing that bothers Naruko, though, so later on, savely secured in their apartment, with at least five different seals securing that they won't have an unwanted audience, she hesitantly grabs a fitstfull of Satsuki's kimono sleeve to grab her attention. 

Once Satsuki is looking at her, Naruko is almost tempted to drop it, least her words may be what make Satsuki change her mind after all, but—

"You didn't.... have to do it this way, though, you know that, right? You're—" _Satsuki, the ruthless last Uchiha, you forge your own path and don't abide by the rules._

Satsuki shrugs, exposing a milky shoulder as she does so, and Naruko's eyes follow it longingly. 

"I know," she says, because, duh. She _does_ know, of course she does. Still doesn't mean Naruko's any wiser on just _why_ Satsuki would go through with it, instead of—using other means, so to speak. 

"For you, you stupid idiot. _Usuratonkachi._ Why else?" Satsuki drums her fingers on the table and Naruko catches sight of the tiniest of fissures in the nail of her right pointer finger. "You love this godforsaken village. Sage knows why, and I—" she swallows, but caves ahead, and suddenly Naruko can't _breath_ , "— _I_ love _you_."

 _A-ah_. There they are—the words, so heart-stoppingly beautiful in their simplistic forwardness. Naruko would cup her hands around them and treasure them in a bottle, if she could. 

Satsuki smirks, playfully, as she goes on, "Sage knows why, but I do. So we'll do it your way—as long as it works." The last bit comes out accompanied by a meaningful look. Naruko nods in understanding, because she does. Understand, that is. Satsuki might be willing to step back and play by Naruko's rules, but faith and trust and love only get you so far when shattered and hastily put together hearts are involved. 

"Also," Satsuki speaks up again, her voice flippantly nonchalant, "I'm always happy to make fools of those 'old geezers.'" 

Naruko stares at her, blinks twice, then throws her head back and _laughs_ , laughs so hard like she hasn't since she was 12 and stupid and first discovered she was in love, the hole in her lung still a phantom wound hastily glued together with determination. 

When she surges forward, fingers tightly wrapped around an arm, her own slung around a pale neck, her bright grin merges with Satsuki's smug smirk.


End file.
